We humans have this wonderful thing we like to call “control”. We seek it, we find it and we try never letting go of control! Where do we seek it? Well just about everywhere! Where do we find it? Wherever we can. And when do we let go of it – well if it was up to us – never!
This is something we all struggle with personally, everyday. And we all know, there’s some things we can control – like whether or not to put pants on for the day (let’s hope you control a yes to that one!) and somethings, not matter how desperately we want to, we can’t control.
We try to control our loved ones and life situations which (a good majority of the time) are out of our hands. But we stress about keeping control anyways. This is something I’ve felt personally in the past 3 years with my brother & his brain cancer diagnosis. It’s been hard to learn than I can’t control things. I can’t control how he feels, what he does, what he doesn’t do.
Relate content:Â 6 Books To Read As A Cancer Carer
But why don’t we want to let go? Because we worry if we let go, things won’t work out in a favour. We have to work for things to go our way and control as much as we can right? Even though we tell ourselves that, at the end of the day, what is out of our control is simply that. Out of our control. And while we can take responsibility for how we handle things and how we go about things, some outcomes are outside of our control & responsibility.
These are 5 steps of letting go of control created by Gabrielle Bernsteins. I found this in her SuperSoul Sessions talk which I’ve added below!
1. “Take your hands off the wheel through prayer”[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref]
A really good point Gabrielle made in her speech is when we wish or pray for something it’s usually about us. Instead of praying for particular things, part of her method is to “pray for what is at the highest good for all”[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref]. It’s like your letting go and saying universe do your thang’. Cos you know what’s best.
It’s about stopping trying to control and create the things we think we need. And allowing space in our minds to see the things we do need when they come up!
2. “Focus on what’s thriving”[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref]
I feel like I could write 100 different things I’ve heard that says this! Tony Robbins makes a HUGE point of this in his work. Focus on what you DO want not what you don’t.
When I first heard this it was a huge “wow” moment. Every thought of mine was of something I didn’t want. I didn’t want to sit in traffic. I didn’t want to wake up so early. I didn’t want to be rushed. It filled my vocab completely. And as the saying goes, we attract what we think.
Related content:Â 3 Secrets to a Better Drive to Work
Gabrielle points on the same idea in her speech. Are minds are wired to think of all the things we lack. We all do it. But instead we should focus on the things we already have.
You know when you feel like your on a roll and things just keep going your way! The drive to work was easy, the stuff you needed was there, everyone else at work is in a good mood. Those days it’s also because we’re focusing on what’s working for us.
So the next step is to focus on what IS working for you. Not what isn’t or what you don’t have yet.
What are you grateful for? Who are the amazing people you are lucky to have in your life?
It’s all about a gratefulness attitude!
[thrive_leads id=’3568′]
3. “Obstacles are detours in the right direction”[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref]
Goes hand in hand with what the Dalai Lama says – sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.
Gabrielle also quotes a beautiful saying by Rumi in her speech – “the wound is the place that the light enters you”[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref].
We’ve all had situations where things haven’t worked out way but they’ve worked out better than what we’ve imagined.
What isn’t going your way right now? What have you learnt from it? What’s the opportunity in it?
There are so many people that have turned job losses, sickness and breakups into major life changes. And that’s what life does. It throws us not what we want, but what we need. It’s up to use to use it to learn and grow – the only thing we can usually control in lifes difficulties.
Related content:Â The 6 Habits Of Success People – Habit 1 – Clarity
4. “Ask for a sign”[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref]
This part of Gabrielles speech was a tear jerker! She says that when we ask we will receive – it’s the law of the universe[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref].
Gabrielle has openly spoken about her difficulty with falling pregnant. When she decided to try again, she asked the universe for a sign that she was going the right way.
One day she was sitting in her office and there were wild turkeys sitting out side. Later on she decided to google what the spiritual meaning of turkey was. And it turned out that it was fertility (cue crying now!!). She said it was the exact message she needed to hear.
So don’t be afraid to ask for the universe for a lil’ help along the way! But Gabrielle stresses we have to pay attention & listen!
5. When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more
“Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety”[ref]O. (2017, May 10). Retrieved December 16, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=373s[/ref]
This was one of my favourite quotes from her speech. Just when we think we’ve let go, Gabrielle suggests we let go even more. If you trust and are certain, then continue to surrender!
There’s a lovely, daily prayer in the speech Gabrielle suggests to continue to surrender:
“Where would you have me go, what would you have me do, what would you have me say & to whom?”
Related content:
Struggling With Meditation? 4 Must Have Meditation Tips
Best Guided Meditation Apps To Keep You Meditating!
These 5 steps are an amazing guide in letting go of control. Sometimes we get so far into wish, wanting & hoping that we only create more stress for ourselves. I hope this helps you work your way out of stress & control.
[arve url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yiCMxp8Kw4&t=12s” /]
