The Self Development started as a blog called “Searching For Better.” This was a project I started in 2017 after my brother was diagnosed with cancer.
At the time, I was tired of being angry, depressed, and frustrated. I was also tired of disliking myself and being stuck in relationships I felt drained by. So, the idea behind the name was that I was finally searching for a better way to be.
Shortly after my brother passed away, I went away and asked myself one question “have I honored myself?”. This one question led me to rethink everything in my life – my relationships, my thinking and who I was.
And then it began. I got out of a 6-year, extremely tiring relationship with a partner. I also decided to walk away from my complicated relationship with my dad. I also had a fall out with a best friend of 20-years. Things definitely fell apart but I felt like I was the one undoing them. Sort of like Jenga. I took out some blocks and knew that everything was going to tumble. It definitely did. My grief and my brother’s experience became the catalyst for what shifted me, and it continues to be.
My brother’s legacy and his grief sit with me in everything I do. It’s always right next to me, reminding me I will live this life once. It keeps me seeking to connect and find meaning and fulfillment by being the best person I can be for myself and others. A year after my brother died, I got back into my work and decided to change the name to Self Development Collective. I was very intentional about using the word “Self” rather than “personal development,”.
In IFS (one of my favourite psychotherapies), the Self is the place in us where we find curiosity, compassion, calm, confidence, courage, clarity, creativity, connectedness, and kindness. When I renamed Searching For Better to Self Development Collective, I wanted to communicate this. I wanted it to be a space where we find ways to develop all those areas of the self and live from them. I wanted to share how we can infuse more of all those qualities into ourselves and our relationships. When I look back now, the Self, the space, was what I was trying to get back to when I made all those changes after my brother died.
This is my why
Whether grief brought you here or relationships, we all have a different starting point for searching and wanting differently for ourselves.
Either way, the Self Development Collective is about finding that space within us where we feel curious, compassionate, calm, confident, creative, connected, courageous, and kind. It’s about living in that space and sharing it with others so we can live in a way that feels more meaningful and fulfilling.
I hope you find the resources and my work helpful on your journey to searching for your better.
My brother was my confidant, my best friend and my guide. To this day his legacy is infused into everything I do both personally and in my work.
My family is another part of my life that’s super important! My relationships are what I talk about but also what inspire me to keep growing and sharing.
My drive to learn and always be curious around my challenges and life experiences is also what’s inspired the Self Development Collective.
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you are the greatest project you will ever work on.
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