What’s In This Episode
Somewhere inside us we have a calling or a vision of what we want for ourselves… but what happens when we feel like we should put everything else first?
What happens when we take our dreams and hopes less seriously because we don’t receive the validation or confirmation by others to start taking it seriously?
Most of the time, we wait until others take us seriously before we ourselves take the changes or dreams we have and make them real.
In this episode we talk about taking our dreams and hopes seriously first!
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Transcript
Speaker 1: (00:01)
You’re now listening to the self-development collective a podcast in community full of inner work and self-development ideas to help us get unstuck and become the person we truly want to be
Speaker 2: (00:19)
Hi guys, and welcome to search for better. So in this episode, we are gonna go through taking ourselves seriously. And the reason I wanna go through this today is because I feel like a lot of us wait until we’re taken seriously to take something seriously. Um, whether that’s, you know, something that we wanna do, um, something that we wanna start a hobby, a business, an anything. And the reason that I’m talking to you about this today is mainly because I feel your pain. If you feel as though you are, you’ve had a dream or an idea of who you wanna be or what you wanna do, and that idea hasn’t been taken seriously by the ones that you love. And the reason that I’m saying this today is because I think it’s really common thing for us to all go through, especially when, you know, we wanna change our lives or make a decision, and it’s not supported by the people that we love.
Speaker 2: (01:11)
And that can be really challenging because, you know, sometimes which is completely natural, we look for external validation for things, decisions, um, that we make. And when we don’t get that support, we tend to not take those decisions as seriously. We tend to hide them. We tend to avoid them. And that’s something that I can definitely say I’ve done, especially with this work. You know, I went years with hiding it, not talking about it, not telling people, um, within my circle and my extended circle, because I was afraid that people wouldn’t take it serious, especially because, you know, there’s a lot of, um, ideas around what people take as work, um, and what people think isn’t work. And I think part of me always waited for someone else to take it seriously before I took it seriously. Um, and I wanna know if you’ve had that, I wanna know if you’ve got something that to do or a change you’re trying to make, and perhaps it’s not being taken seriously by the people around you.
Speaker 2: (02:09)
And sometimes again, that can be just such a simple choice. Like, you know, if you’re not drinking, it’s really easy for people to like take, take the piece, I suppose. And like, you know, sort of, ah, like make fun of those decisions. And I think that’s something that it can be really, um, hard to manage when we’re trying to make a change because you know, if someone else doesn’t take it seriously, then I think, especially when we look for that external validation, we tend to not take it seriously ourselves. So the reason I wanna go through this today is because let’s talk about taking ourselves seriously. Let’s talk about being the one to choose, to take ourselves serious, because this is something that I’ve slowly started to realize and something that I’ve realized through my husband’s work and what he does. Um, and also some really key examples that I’m gonna go through of people that I’ve met that have started businesses and really take themselves seriously off the bat without waiting for other people to take it seriously.
Speaker 2: (03:05)
Um, and that’s something that I really admire in people today. It’s something that I wanna encourage in all of us, because I feel like once we start taking ourselves seriously, our lives start to change our choices, start to change. And also I suppose, attitudes around us start to change as well. And sometimes too, that can inspire great things like again. Um, but I’ll get into that. So what happened was throughout, um, starting this work, I was really struggling to take myself seriously because I didn’t feel as though I was being taken seriously by the people around me. So I, I usually hide my things and not really. And I do wanna make that sometimes when people don’t take us seriously, it’s not an intentional malicious sort of thing. People just have their own ideas on, you know, what work is, or what’s a good decision and what’s not a good decision.
Speaker 2: (03:50)
And some people just aren’t afraid to say it. And I think that’s really good. Um, each to their own, as I always say, but I do think that it can get conflicting where Trump will, we’re trying to make changes and support ourselves. So when I was doing this blog, you know, I’d say to people, oh, I’ve like family members, oh, I’ve done this, I’ve done that. And I wouldn’t really get much back. I wouldn’t get much of a response. And I found that I really struggled with that because I didn’t take it seriously because I felt like if others didn’t then I probably shouldn’t. So I used, and so what happens then is not only do we not take it seriously, but then decisions around the thing that we’re trying to do or change those decisions become less of a priority. So I would prioritize doing everything else before my blog, because if someone else needed me to do something while this isn’t really something serious, this work, so I’ll do that.
Speaker 2: (04:41)
And I’ll also do the other thing that I have to do. And the other thing, and the other thing, because subconsciously, I just didn’t think that this was something that I should take seriously. So that’s, that’s the important part of taking it seriously when we take it seriously, it becomes a priority. And that’s the important part that we, the decision we need to make to make sure that we see to through the dream, the change that we wanna make. And it’s only our responsibility to do that. Not anyone else’s, and that’s something that’s really important as well, that I’ve learned over time. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility to take it seriously. It’s mine. Um, so in saying that I was at the library and I can’t remember the name of this book for the life of me, and I’ve tried to find it in a really disapp.
Speaker 2: (05:21)
So I’m actually gonna go back to the library and try and find it just so I can share it with you. But I was sort of in this place where I was like trying to take myself seriously, feeling a bit torn and conflicted because, you know, to take time out of work, to do this, some people like see that as a waste of time, me not taking my own work, my, you know, other work seriously and whatnot. Um, so that’s been in interesting experience, but I was in the library and I CR I opened this book and it was so interesting because I love when this happens, where you just get the exact advice that you need. So open this book, and in this book, this guy said he was talking about, again, the idea of taking ourselves seriously, our dreams and whatnot, and our passions and things we wanna do.
Speaker 2: (06:02)
And he said, you know, sometimes our passions, our dreams take time out of other things. Um, they don’t always make money, obviously off the bat. Sometimes that requires a bit of work, especially for people who have a dream or a purpose or an idea, um, or sometimes it’s just changing your life. And, you know, obviously nobody sees the effects of that straight away, because like I always say, if we saw changes straight away and saw results on those changes quickly, everybody would change it. Every would be, everybody would be doing those things. Um, and he said, sometimes you, he goes, you just have to do it. If it doesn’t bring your money, you do it anyways. If it doesn’t make at the changes that you wanna see anyways, you do it anyways. And he was kind of saying like, stop waiting for something to happen, to take it seriously and start taking it seriously now.
Speaker 2: (06:46)
And that really resonated with me because I’ve spent years waiting until this looks like something that other people would take seriously. And until it did, I wouldn’t take it to seriously, but it’s kind of a cash 22, because if I don’t take it seriously, I don’t make the decisions to turn this into the thing that I’m, you know, working towards. Um, so that was a really interesting thing. I kind of opened it. I was like, oh, okay. So I was like, well, I just need to prioritize this. Whether other people think it’s worth it. Um, and for me, it’s mainly a money thing. I think that’s just a family thing I’ve grown up with. But a lot of us, a lot of us put aside the side hustles, which yeah, put aside the side hustles because they’re probably not making enough money or we feel we need to make a certain amount before we start taking it on and actually giving it time.
Speaker 2: (07:33)
And that’s the thing that he was saying, if it doesn’t happen, you need to do like, it’s not gonna happen. But first off, obviously, because as we know, great things take time and you need to put the time into that. Regardless. Maybe it’s a book you wanna write. Maybe there’s a project that you wanna do, and it’s not about the money. It’s just, you don’t see yourself as the type of person that does that. But the thing is how do we become that type of person, unless we give it time to actually create those habits. So you see yourself as a writer, a drawer, anything, give yourself time to put those habits into your day. So you can become that person and take it, take it seriously for yourself. And that’s some, that’s a message I got out of this book and I loved it cuz he was kind of like, you just have to do it.
Speaker 2: (08:13)
You don’t have to explain it to anybody else. You have to do it. And I’m not a mom. I always say that. Um, , I am becoming a mom, which is really exciting, but even just learning, um, about taking that seriously, putting in systems to support that. So whether that means coming here and recording on a Saturday or whether that means, um, sorry, I will give you an example of a mom. So I know these two great moms and I say moms because different, um, different times scare. Yeah. Different time constraints as a mom. And I really respect, um, I can’t imagine what it’s like to raise a child. So I really respect when moms make their dreams work because I feel like all parents in general caregivers, um, anyone that’s a main caregiver, I should say, um, parents, dads, whoever’s making it work. I think that’s such a powerful thing because of the time constraints and the challenges.
Speaker 2: (09:02)
I mean I’ve only had experience as a carer and I used to still do the blog and it was so hard. It was like any 20 minutes that I could get in, I would be doing. So I, um, I have two women that I know that are also mum, uh, both full-time moms and I, they started a business and at the time I was still recording and doing my stuff, but I still wasn’t prioritizing it because I was still valuing the priorities that I thought should be priorities because those should be were things that were around expectations of others. And I did that. I’ve grown up with right. Which we all find challenging. And I think this is all just part of the journey. So they started their business, right. And they took it so seriously from the get go. It was like, Hey, still need, um, asking their, you know, asking their respective, uh, babysitters and people that helped them, their support system to look after the kids, they had to work on their business.
Speaker 2: (09:57)
And I actually loved that because it’s so easy for other people to look at that situation, um, and say, oh, well like if you’re not at work, sort of, why do I need to look after the kids? Why do I need to help? But their mentality was, no, this is my work. This is my passion. This is what I’m doing. This is really important to me. I need time to do this. And it reminded me of the part of the book that I just read, where they did a way for other people to take it seriously. They took it seriously themselves. They told people about it. They spoke about it. They were so open about the fact that they were starting this business and they wanted it to be something for themselves and they loved it and they were passionate about it. They were so upfront and honest about the business and the reasons behind it.
Speaker 2: (10:39)
And I really learned so much from just watching them take themselves seriously, not waiting for other people to appreciate their decisions, um, to validate, validate their decisions. They just took themselves seriously. So this is a question that I have for you today, or this is the, the idea that I wanna bring forward today. Do you have something that you wanna do? And again, this isn’t, I speak about business because this is a challenge that I have, and this is what I’ve just seen around. Um, the people that I love and support, and I’ve seen the people that wanna do their own thing and, and they take that seriously. Um, do you have something, someone, something you wanna be someone you wanna be, um, do you have a hobby that you wanna start? Do you have a passion project that you wanna begin, but you are waiting for, you know, for people to take it seriously or you’re waiting for it to be taken seriously?
Speaker 2: (11:32)
Um, because I find again, when we wait for those things, when we wait for people to take it seriously, when we wait for that validation, our decision making is different. We tend to wait until people validate or appreciate before we start taking making decisions for ourselves and taking ourselves our ideas, our decisions seriously. And there was a point in my life where I realized that it was really interesting how I could expect other people to take me and my ideas and the things I wanted to do seriously, if I didn’t. So this is why I’m bringing this to you today. This is not a challenge that I haven’t had or other people don’t have. And I wanna know, is there something that you need to change in your life, but you’re not taking it seriously enough because you’re not getting the validation, the external validation, the acceptance.
Speaker 2: (12:20)
And I do wanna let you know that we all struggle with that, but is it time for you to take it seriously? Is it time for you to just schedule it in because it’s important to you? Not because it’s important to other people, is it time to start taking that thing seriously for you making those decisions? And this is why I really like in the membership that I’m gonna be talking about and doing a little video series on this is why I talk about self-esteem. This is one of those parts and part of, um, part of self-esteem and the journey and the things that I’ve read and learned is self assertiveness is really important in self-esteem self. Assertiveness is when we stand up and say, these are my decisions, this is who I am, and this is what I’m doing for myself. And not saying it in a place of like anger or proof, or just say it because that’s it that this is what I do.
Speaker 2: (13:06)
This is what I love doing. And this is something I’ve learned, especially with the past year. Oh, like I’ll say to people now, oh, Saturday, I’m recording. I’m recording because I love doing my work and I’m recording and I’m doing this work and this is what I do. And I love it. And to me, that’s really, that’s really helped me make changes. That’s really helped me to be more assertive around the decisions that I wanna make and just voicing who I am and being honest about it. And I’ve noticed since then that all my decisions have changed. So what do you need to be more self assertive about what do you need to back yourself on support yourself and stop waiting for other people to take it seriously before you do? Because if it’s important to you, it deserves to be taken seriously by you first.
Speaker 2: (13:51)
So I hope this episode has helped. I hope it’s given you some food for thought. And as I always say, take what resonates leave or doesn’t. But I really hope that you’ve liked the stories that I’ve put in here today, because I really admire these women that are just going out there and doing what they need to do and not waiting for other people to say, good idea. It’s okay, you should be doing this. Um, they just took it seriously because they wanted to, and they just did it because they wanted to. And I love, love that vibe. So I hope this episode has helped, uh, don’t forget to get on the mailing list if you like, what we record here and you like the content that we have because the community is opening so soon and I’ve made a decision that there’s only gonna be a hundred spots, um, to get into the community. I wanna keep a tight knit and really just hone in on getting everyone on board, uh, making sure that the content and thing everyone’s enjoying and it’s working. So say on the email lists, jump on it. If you wanna hear more about the community, this is the type of work that we’ll be doing. Um, I’m really excited to be, um, starting on it. So thank you so much for the listening to this episode today. And as I always say, take what resonates leave what doesn’t.
