Do you feel like work is slowly taking over your life? And that you’re relationships are starting to suffer. Time with your kids is hard, because your exhausted. Or time with your partner quickly becomes him watching the movie and you asleep on the couch! We’ve all been there. We’re all STILL there. We’re doing more hours & spending less & less time on our personal lives. Finding balance between work & life feels like it’s become impossible. But has it?
Why we find balance so hard to do
The biggest question to ask first is why are we finding balance between work and life so hard?
In High Performance Habits
, Brendon Burchard talks about this.
He found there were 2 reasons why finding balance is such a struggle:
- “[We] never [make] a fully conscious, consistent effort to define, seek, and measure that balance”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- “[We] simply define “work-life balance” using an impossible-to-achieve standard”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
A good (albeit kick in the butt) point he brings up is that we can spend a lot of time on projects & work, but how much effort do we put in to finding balance.[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
Ouch but true.
And as most of us would ask – how do we go about finding balance? Where’s the effort supposed to go?
Relevant content on life & productivity:
- How To Start A Day Productively
- The Magic Of Focusing On One Thing At A Time
- 3 Steps To Control Negative Self Talk
- The Simple, 3 Step Secret To Changing Habits
The Big Work/Life Balance Misunderstanding
“The great mistake most people make is to think of balance in terms of evenly distributed hours”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
I have to admit, when I think of work life balance, I think of hours. I spend nearly 10 hours (with travel) in a working day, but only 2 or 3 hour awake at home (before I doze off on the couch). How can I achieve a balance, when I already spend unavoidable amounts of time at work?
This is what Brendon called a “quantity expectation”.[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
To fix this, we should be focusing on “quality expectation”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]. To find the elusive balance we all seek, we need to focus on being “intentional” with our time.
It means of measuring balance on hours, balance it on “happiness or progress” in every area of your life.[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]. To find the elusive balance we all seek, we need to be “intentional”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref] with our time.
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How to find balance by measuring “happiness or progress”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref].
“When most people feel that they’re “out” of balance, it’s because one area of their life became more intense, important, and time consuming than other areas”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
Hands up if you think Brendon deserves a medal for all these discoveries!
When I read this I was like “yes”. Claps ? to Brendon for hitting the nail on the head.
I know when I’ve been at work for so long and come home stressed, I get annoyed that so much of my day feels like it’s been taken up. That I’ve lost time with my family because I’m tired & distracted.
Do you feel that way too?
A great strategy (that’s in High Performance Habits) to finding balance is to review every area of your life, weekly.
When we consciously focus on ALL the areas of our life and where we feel out of balance, we immediately feel more “control”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref].
“The solution is to keep perspective in life by keeping an eye on the quality or profess of the major areas of our life”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
The “major areas”[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref] to keep track of are:
- Health[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Family[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Friends[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Intimate Relationships (Partner or Marriage)[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Mission/Work[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Finances[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Adventure[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Hobby[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Spirituality[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
- Emtions[ref]Burchard, B. (2017). High performance habits: how extraordinary people become that way. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.[/ref]
Brendon recommends looking at these weekly (he gets his clients to do this every Sunday) and to rate each area out of 10.
Finding balance is something that needs to be done consistently. Otherwise we lose sight of what’s out balance. And we all know what that feels like.
I know when I take a day out and see where I’m at in every area of my life, it’s on of my best days. I feel clear and determined again.
Another good way to do this exercise if you’re not a pen & paper type of person, is Tony Robbins Wheel of Life assessment.
Who doesn’t love free assessments?
Finding YOUR balance
So – what’s next!
- Schedule a weekly time for finding balance in your life
- Create your own “wheel of life” & rate it out of 10
- Do the Tony Robbins Wheel of Life assessment
Also, if you’re liking some of the stuff you’ve read, you can find Brendons book here.
(I’m half way through & I can’t get enough of it – finally some success habits that don’t including morning routines!!)
